Day 2 Patron of the Dykens Family
My Grandfather, Robert Dykens
Grandpa Bob was always into pony-pulling. He was the Co-Founder of the Essex Kent pony-pullers Association and took great pride in that accomplishment. He also worked at Chrysler.
I am unsure how he met my Grandma Dorothy, but they had two exceptional children, and my mom is the oldest. They divorced after the kids left the nest.
My grandfather was always full of mischief and teasing people. Grandpa Bob lived life for himself and died just before his 63rd birthday. He did the best he could with what he knew.
He did have some issues with addiction, mostly food, prescription medication and alcohol. He decided to do something about that and entered the Brentwood program in Windsor, ON. I remember his graduation day and was proud that he did it.
His laugh was loud, and he loved his family in his own way. He, I believe, was adopted and originally from Nova Scotia. There are many things I don’t know about him, and most of him is a mystery, but what I do know is that he could talk you into anything. He loved horses, and he loved on his terms.
The gifts I received from Grandpa Bob is:
· Resilience
· Acceptance of being different
· Addiction doesn’t have to be a life sentence
· You can change if you choose to
· Not everything is as it seems
· Putting yourself first is not bad
· Live life on your terms
· Asking for help is not a bad thing and should be embraced
· Family is what you make of it
· Love comes in different forms and ways of being
· Just because you can doesn’t mean you should
· Bring fun into everything you do.
· Delegate, delegate, delegate
· Your actions do have consequences
Grandpa Bob had his issues, and I truly believe he did his best. I will remember his laugh and how it was bigger than life. When I remember him, I remember sitting on his lap and him playing with his teeth; I remember the pony pulls and the tricks he used to play on us all. I remember his struggles in life and how, at times, his selfishness was overwhelming. But it was all a lesson for us in how we never truly know what others are going through and to be kind to everyone.
I choose to remember the good times. This is how I remember him, and he has been gone for, I believe, close to 30 years.
What are you choosing this holiday season?
Remember that if you are struggling with the loss of someone this holiday season, remember the good and let those memories help you through it.
Sometimes, the memories and the loss can be overwhelming; here are some things I do to get my mind back to center: Go for a walk, journal, call a friend or family member, read. Do what makes you happy, and remember that it's okay not to always be okay. Give yourself grace.
If the struggle is too much, reach out to someone for help. If it's too much and the thoughts are too dark, call 9-8-8.
If you think no one understands, you are wrong. I have been there and interviewed many people there as well. If you want to hear their stories, go to https://www.youtube.com/@unstoppableovercomers1508/streams. Subscribe and share with your friends.
Either way I would love to hear from you, and your favorite holiday tradition with the person that means the most to you.
Till then, remember to be UNSTOPPABLE in all that you do.
With love and gratitude,
Dorothy
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